


The Godmommy

by SylvesterLazarus_EN (SylvesterLazarus)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Double Agent Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Enemies, Gen, Good Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Malfoy Manor, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25738327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SylvesterLazarus/pseuds/SylvesterLazarus_EN
Summary: Lucius Malfoy is not a coward man. He's someone for whom killing in just a routine activity. There was one single person he feared more than the Dark Lord himself... and this person is on the loose.
Relationships: Bellatrix Black Lestrange & Lucius Malfoy
Kudos: 11





	The Godmommy

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [A Keresztanyu](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25738507) by [SylvesterLazarus_Paródia (SylvesterLazarus)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SylvesterLazarus/pseuds/SylvesterLazarus_Par%C3%B3dia). 



> It's the translation of my Hungarian work, so sorry for my lame English, I hope it's still enjoyable.

Lucius Malfoy was not a coward man. He would have interrupted his routine of many years if once he wasn't the one who is feared by others, but he himself became the one who experienced a cold shiver. He simply couldn't let himself to be frightened, nor appear to be merely worried.

Looking at the front page of the Daily Prophet, only doubt and then an indescribable, unpleasant feeling emerged from the depths of his imagination. It was unusual, and could be called a pleasant feeling only while watching a theatrical performance or flipping through an ancient book.

_Escape from Azkaban!_

_Former Death Eater, Bellatrix Black escaped from Azkaban in an unknown way this dawn. Cornelius Fudge made a statement on the alleged reorganization of the Order of the Phoenix. According to the Minister of Magic, this could've only been their terrorist act._

Lucius felt an inexplicable urge to crumple the whole newspaper and cast it into the fireplace, so he carefully folded it and set it down on the edge of his desk.

Then he saw something that wasn't right. One copy of The Quibbler was laying on the window still on the outside. He convinced himself that it must've been an owl that dropped it there by pure accident, so he opened the window and grabbed it before someone could notice it.

_Bellatrix Black is the victim of a conspiracy!_

_It's rumored that Balletrix Black, former Death Eater served as a double agent of The Order of the Phoenix in You Know Who's army all along. Our trustworthy contract revealed that Miss Black's been working with the Longbottoms as a spy of the Order of the Phoenix, but a group of unidentified avenging Death Eaters found out the truth and they executed an act of cruel revenge on all three of them._

"A bunch of idiots," Lucius stated to himself. "How could they?"

Keeping his anger at bay, he stopped his hands from tearing the paper into pieces and simply laid it right next to the Prophet.

He spent the morning silently working and after lunch he gave in a proposal to the Ministry about offering his property for an elite Auror squad for a perquisition training, since we can never know when this experience might come handy for the inexperienced mob that call themselves Aurors.

The training was quickly finished that very evening, so he offered that they can repeat it again or even three more times for the maximal effort. After they combed the whole Malfoy Mansion for the fifth time and Lucius sent his wife to a spontaneous vacation to the Bahamas, he personally thanked the leader of the Auror Department for taking their work so seriously and offered that they can practice guarding the property against a home invasion as well if they want.

A few minutes before midnight Lucius was made sure that none of the Aurors take their task half-heartedly when he called for them from the mansion's hall. After thirty Aurors neutralized a coat stand with united force, he congratulated them for their vigilance and told that later he might do one or two more spontaneous test alerts like this one.

After midnight he admired the satisfying sight of the patrolling figures around the house, and because he was a gentleman with a great eye for esthetics he checked that the mansion was perfectly surrounded, so not even a feral rabbit could get closer to the building more than 300 feet.

Being satisfied with their formalities he checked every door and window himself wondering about which ones of them are creaky enough to be replaced in the near future, he had the idea of trying to lock each one of them to check if they remain locked despite being really cold outside. He didn't hear about locks opening by themselves in the cold, but nobody can picky enough if their home's condition is on stake.

After finding all the doors and windows unopenable, he thought that the old piano in his bedroom's been standing in the corner for quite a while, so it's just the time to move it to someplace where it's more in the open for everyone to see. The instrument was proven to be quite heavy and Lucius somehow forgot to use his want to move it, so he decided that he won't be moving it anymore that night. The fact that it just barricaded the bedroom door didn't bother him, since he wasn't planning to leave the room by morning anyway.

After installing the old metal bars to the windows in hope of bringing them back to fashion, he put on his nightshirt and looked in the wardrobe to check if it needs a bit of organizing, but he was glad to see that everything was in nice order inside. He carefully looked under the bed, since somehow it crossed his mind that something might've rolled under it that would've been declared lost until the next clean-up.

Pulling his covers up to his nose he remembered that he hasn't been practicing the right way to hold a wand for a long time, so he found that the best solution would be if he took his wand to his hand and just kept it there until he fell asleep.

At the morning he woke up quite sleep-deprived after constantly turning over his sweaty pillow for hours in the warm November night until he could fall asleep, only to dream about some sassy laughter instead of his plans for world domination. He had no reason to smile, so he sat up with a serious face and took a deep breath, inhaling the room's disgustingly stinky air.

"What!?" he mumbled sleepily.

Indeed, there was some unpleasant stink coming in through the room's closed but still not perfectly airtight window, but he decided to not even bother with it. Something else though couldn't be overlooked. His hands were covered with some black ink that must've gotten there when he wrote the proposal to the Ministry the day before and he just noticed it now. It was rather upsetting that a great amount of it had gotten on his bed.

Yes, the sheet was literally soaked in ink, but at the same time Lucius made an interesting discovery, he honestly wouldn't have thought that the black ink on the white sheets may make a red spot, nor that the expensive material of the covers made an essence similar to the smell of blood when soaked in ink.

He was so impressed by his discoveries that his heart started pounding heavily, his hands were shaky from excitement and he actually had a hard time breathing because of the weight of the great scientific discovery.

He pulled away the covers to see exactly how bad the damage was when he faced a really unexpected sight. He's worked with Dementors before, but he only saw one without its hood, and that specimen had all its body parts in their possession and it wasn't just a severed head facing him with wide-open eyes that showed the fear of death in them and with the initials B.B. carved into its forehead lying at the end of his bed.

"By the way, there was no blackish blood leaking from that one either," Mr. Malfoy added, then with the immersion of a madman and with the power of a tortured in his voice he started screaming in horror.

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously inspired by The Godfather and a Reddit post:  
> https://www.reddit.com/r/HPfanfiction/comments/i347xz/bellatrix_black_is_antivoldemort_and_a_member_of/
> 
> Any corrections about my English are very much appreciated!


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